Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize