Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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