How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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