You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
