you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
