Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
