I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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