I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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