I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
