i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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