remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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