What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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