Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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