My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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