I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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