Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
