Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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