Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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