If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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