I'm jealous of your bromance
This girl is more easily done than said...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize