I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My penis needs a shock collar
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
