.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
