never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
