dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wish i was in the wii world.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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