Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
