i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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