bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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