I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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