Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
