just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
