eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Alive.
So much puke
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
