i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
