Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
