so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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