please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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