the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
