Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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