I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
