hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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