We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
