I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
