I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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