I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
