last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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