I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
