you would pick up someone in the library
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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