I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
