Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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