Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
