K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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