I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
vagina is talking i cant
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
