the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize