Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
