i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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