Porn is love you can see.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
