I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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