I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
