just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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